Do Not Ruin the Moment

by | Dec 29, 2014 | HAPPINESS & MINDFULNESS

When you overthink what is good, the good goes away.

Originally posted in Psychology Today

Everybody wants to be happy, but countless studies1 show: Avoiding unhappiness is more important to us than finding happiness. The moment we consider something to be emotionally risky—from small change to big love—we tend to turn away from it. People like me, who wish to spread happiness, regret this tendency, because it is often unnecessary and irrational. Researchers such as Timothy D. Wilson and Daniel T. Gilbert call this tendency the impact bias, which causes us to underestimate our inner strength to cope with our feelings in case of disaster. (more…)

4 Benefits of Hugs, for Mind and Body

by | Jun 8, 2014 | DEPRESSION & HEALTH

Research finds surprising power in even casual embraces.

I had the honor of introducing Zen Psychology Therapy (ZPT)* at the World Congress for Psychotherapy in Shanghai in May 2014 [1]. What an experience! In retrospect, two impressions struck me the most, the first being was the openness and intellectual vibrancy with which Zen Psychology and other hybrid approaches were received. Instead of being offended by a Western psychologist speaking about Zen Buddhism and mindfulness in psychotherapy, I was welcomed as (more…)

The Ultimate Gift of Love

by | Mar 1, 2014 | MISCELLANEOUS

All experiences are mysterious; love is no exception. We cannot accurately reconstruct any experience because too many vivacious variables are involved, however attentive or scientific we go about the reconstruction. Bits and pieces and the whole of life are twirling around, inside out and outside in, firing and dying (more…)

Are You a Worrier?

by | Feb 10, 2014 | ANXIETY

Five things to try when your mind spins out of control.

Originally posted in Psychology Today

I don’t think anyone in his or her right mind wishes to be completely fearless. At least after the fact of a close encounter we can appreciate when our internal warning signal is aligned with a red traffic light, preventing us to cross the street and become roadkill. However, I don’t know anybody who appreciates being afraid for no good reason, or even just anxious about future events — which is the definition of worry. (more…)

Why Must I Worry: Five Zen Remedies

by | Jan 24, 2014 | ANXIETY

Zen Psychology does not begin with a concept of your self or your problems, but with an open mind. The intervention emerges within the sacred space of kind attention, deep listening, and questioning. When I meet a person who wishes to widen his or her inner space to let go of worry, (more…)